In many families, money still is not a typical dinner table discussion, but I think it should be. Surprisingly, this is especially true when it comes to affluent parents. And, we hope to change it because one of the most important things you can do is talk to your kids (and your parents) about money.

According to the Spectrem Millionaire Corner, a market research group, only 17% of affluent parents said they would disclose their income or net worth to their kids by the time they turned 18. A nearly equal amount, 18% said they would never disclose these numbers to their kids. 32% of the rich parents surveyed by Spectrem said “it’s none of their business” when asked why they would not talk to their kids about money.

But, that’s just faulty thinking, wouldn’t you agree?! We hope so! But, if not, read on …

The amount of money generated by your family, and what will happen to it when you or your parents become incapacitated or die, is definitely your business. In fact, we believe it may be the most important business you have. And whether your parents talk with you about it now, or you figure it all out after they die, your parent’s money has a huge impact on you.

And, of course your money has a huge impact on your kids.

If your parents are not talking to you about money, it could be because they are afraid that if you know how much money there is, it will make you lazy, unmotivated, or change the course of your life decisions in a negative manner. Maybe you have the same fears of talking about money with your own kids.

But the truth is that whether you know exactly what there is or not, you have a general sense of your family’s affluence and it’s already impacted your decisions in a myriad of ways. And the best way for your family’s money to impact your decisions in a positive manner is to get into open conversation about it all.

If you are a child of affluent parents who are not talking to you about money, consider that your job is to learn to communicate with your parents in a way that will have them trust you, and the decisions you will make if you know just how much there is.

Perhaps consider that when money has come up in the past, you behaved immaturely, and that caused your parents not to trust you, but you can change that now. And consider the possibility that your parents would love it if they saw evidence of your maturity in this arena.

If you are a parent yourself, you probably already know, or can imagine, that the most important wish you have for your children is that they learn to handle money well, and that you want to influence them in the most positive way possible, when it comes to money.

Consider how you would want your children to approach you to have the money conversation, and how you can do exactly that with your parents?

We all have to learn about our family’s money eventually. And if that doesn’t happen until after our parents die, it can be a much bigger burden to deal with, and we can lose tremendous opportunities for passing on more than just money.

As an affluent parent, or the child of affluent parents, getting into conversation about money now is a huge opportunity to pass on values, insights, stories and experience that will be lost, if you wait until incapacity or death to start facing the truth together.

Helping you talk to your kids (or your parents) about money is one of the things we most love to do because we see it as a real opportunity for your family to come together and use your whole family wealth to create more connection from one generation to the next. If we can help you here, either with your kids, or your parents, please be in touch.

You may read this and think: I’m not affluent, and neither are my parents. Once your basic needs are met, ‘affluence’ is a frame of mind. It doesn’t matter how much there is, if you manage a budget, have an income, and want to save for retirement – money management is a huge influence on your life. And it is not something that’s taught in schools! So let’s start opening up conversations within our families. I wish that I had learned more from my grandparents about money management, but that opportunity is lost. They tried to teach me, and would have taught me more, but I shied away from such discussions when I was young. I want to change that pattern in my family, and the families of those I serve. As Robert Kiyosaki would say, let’s start teaching our kids to be financially literate!

Right now, huge numbers of people are coming face to face with their own mortality, and realizing they need to plan for the worst. This goes not just for those in the “senior” category, but for all of us, no matter our age. We are facing the reality of our mortality, and many of us are doing it courageously by taking this as an opportunity to learn what we need to do for the people we love.

Recently I heard a tragic story from a colleague whose client recently lost her fiancé to COVID-19. Because she wasn’t listed on her fiancé’s health directive and HIPAA waiver, she could not get anyone to update her on his condition once he entered the hospital.

Naturally, she didn’t give up trying to get in touch, and eventually someone told her that he wasn’t in the ICU anymore. She was enormously relieved, but when she hadn’t heard anything else by the next day, she called again for news. Finally, after being transferred several times, she learned that the reason her fiancé wasn’t in the ICU was because he was in the morgue. He’d passed away the day before, and no one had told her. Heartbreaking.

Nobody expects something like this to happen, especially people who are healthy and making plans for their own futures. But sometimes the worst does happen, and if it does, you want the people you love to be able to grieve properly, without leaving them with a mess of confusion on top of it all.

Now, think about your own situation. What will happen to your loved ones, and the assets you’ll leave behind, if you become sick or die?

Without a doubt, you would want to ensure certain people in your life are informed if you have to go to the hospital, and kept up to date on your condition while you are there. You’d also probably want to avoid them having to go through a drawn-out court process to handle your estate after your death, or save them from the fate of not being able to access your assets if you are hospitalized. This article is all about you having the tools you need to make sure everything is in place to do the right thing for the people you love,  just in case something happens to you.

The Things You Can Do Yourself

First of all, you need to have a worst-case scenario conversation with your family. A lot of people try to avoid conversations about death, but the truth is, we will all die. It’s better to face that with those that we love, and when the time comes, we will be as ready as we can be.

Create an Inventory of What Matters

A couple of weeks ago, I told you why it was important to have a “personal resource map” to ensure your loved one’s know what you have, where it is, and how to access it if something happens to you.

If you didn’t get a chance to watch the training we created for you on that, you can find that training here. It’s content-packed and will show you what you can do yourself, and when you need to work with a lawyer. We encourage you to watch it and create your own Personal Resource Map for the people you love using the free tool provided with the training.

This is something that you can get started on right now, by yourself, without the help of a lawyer. It is a great resource to leave for your loved ones, so they know where to find everything that is important to you, and to them, if something happens to you.

First, get out your calendar and schedule an appointment with yourself. Set aside an hour to watch the training and then one more hour to take an inventory of everything in your life that is important to you. We’ll guide you through doing that step by step in the training and give you a free online tool to use to create your own family treasure map, of sorts.

Important Note—Your Personal Resource Map will not handle the following:

• A guarantee that your loved ones won’t have to go to court;
• Directing your assets to anyone other than your “next of kin” according to your state’s laws;
• Ensuring health care decisions are made for you, as you want (it’s not a will or a Health Care Directive);
• Making sure your unmarried partner can stay living in your house.

Update Your Health Care Directive

This is extra important if you want your loved ones to avoid the tragic situation that my colleague’s client found herself in. Do NOT delay reviewing and updating these documents.

An Advance Health Care Directive has three parts:

• The Living Will/ Medical Directive, which states how you want decisions to be made for you.
• The Medical Power of Attorney, which states who should make these decisions if you can’t make them yourself.
• A HIPAA Release that allows medical professionals to disclose information to your Medical Power of Attorney/Agent.

You can refer to this article by my mentor for more information on how you can prepare your Health Care Directive for free. (And if you are in Alaska, our state has a form that you can use – contact me directly, liz@lizsmithlaw.com, and I will send it to you).

You can prepare this document yourself if you choose or a Personal Family Lawyer® can help you with it.

Name Legal Guardians for Your Kids

A very important thing for all parents of minor children to do is name legal guardians for your children. Think about what would happen to them right now if something were to happen to you, for both the long term and the immediate future. We have a website we’ve created where you can name legal guardians for your kids, at no charge here. If you are in Alaska, these tools are a great start and something you can do yourself to get going. However, you will need other legal documents in place for long-term protection of your kids. Set up your call with Liz Smith here if you want to know more.

What You Should Get A Lawyer’s Help With

The goal in setting up your estate plan is, ultimately, to keep your loved ones out of the court process and out of conflict. To do that, you have to keep your estate plan up to date, and ensure you’ve made the right decisions in the estate planning process.

Under the following circumstances, you should not just do planning yourself, but instead have a Life & Legacy Planning Session, during which we can look at your family dynamics, your assets, and the law so you can decide what you really do need for the people you love:

• If you have assets, beyond what you can physically see and touch, and those assets are worth more than $50k;
• If you live with your unmarried partner in a house that one of you owns and the other doesn’t (or even if you own it together);
• If you have minor children and your named guardians don’t live locally to you or if you have not named guardians in your will;
• If you are in a second (or more) marriage;
• If you have complex family dynamics;
• If you have a business you want to continue after you are gone;
• If you know for sure you would want to keep your family out of court no matter what.

All of our Life & Legacy Planning Sessions are happening virtually these days, and we can make the whole process quite easy and affordable for you and the people you love. Give us a call to schedule your Live & Legacy Planning Session, if you are ready to face your mortality courageously.  

As you already know, the COVID-19 pandemic means nothing is business as usual. Many states have implemented a “shelter-in-place” order to limit the spread of the disease; however, if you are not in a place with such an order, or if your parents are not following it, you may want to refer to our previous blog on how to talk to your parents and get them to stay home.

Once you have attended to your (and your parents’) immediate needs, it will be time to consider more long-term precautions.

In this time of stress and chaos, your parents may be resistant to talking about estate planning. It may feel too pessimistic to plan for the worst in the midst of a scary situation. However, that’s exactly why it’s the most important time to do so. Plus, since hopefully you are staying inside, you may actually have the time to dedicate to getting these tasks taken care of.

Here are actions you can, and should, take to ensure you and your family are protected both legally and financially.

Update Your Health Care Documents

Above all, you first need to ensure that both you and your parents have advance care directives. This will be an invaluable reference point for those who are assisting you, whether they be friends, family, or medical professionals. This directive should include instructions on your preferred methods of care and the contact information for each of your doctors.

You must also clearly state who will be in charge of handling your affairs in the event of your death or incapacity. Even if you have done this already, I urge you to take out any existing documents now and review them. Have your circumstances changed? Do you have additions to make? Encourage your parents to do the same thing, and to communicate with you about what their directives say.

Here’s an article to read, and share with your parents (and adult kids, if you have them) on the 3 parts of a Health Care Directive, and the 5 things you want to look for in your Health Care Directive right now, to ensure it’s up to date for Covid-19.

If you are unsure whether your Health Care Directive is in ship-shape, call us to take an expert look at them.

Create a “Personal Resource Map”—an Inventory of Everything That Matters

You might think that only the very rich need to worry about making specific plans for their assets. But not so fast. Do you have investments or a retirement account? Physical things like jewelry, musical instruments, or furniture? What about crypto? Or even social media accounts? In the event of your incapacity or death, your family members won’t know where to look for what you have, or how to access it, unless you’ve planned for that ahead of time.

Somewhere between 49 and 80 billion dollars are currently unclaimed nationally, or unable to be claimed, by family members of people who have passed away. This is money that individuals may have forgotten they had, or that they made no provisions to pass on to their family after they died. That’s why it’s extra important that you create a “personal resource map” to tell your loved ones where everything is and how they should move forward according to your wishes.

You can make your own personal resource map, and help your parents make theirs, here; or call us direct and we’ll walk you through it.

Wisely Maximize Your Access To and Use of Credit

Financial experts often recommend a rainy day savings account, and it seems that the rainy day has come. Whether or not you have a sizable savings, you should also maximize your access to credit. Getting approved for a higher credit line is good to do sooner rather than later. If you find yourself in a position where you need money quickly (to afford a medical expense, for instance), you don’t want to be scrambling to pay the bill.

Some people might balk at the idea of applying for more personal credit, particularly people who are afraid of debt. Think of it, however, as a worst-case precaution. You can get approved for credit even if you have a decent amount of savings—just as a backup. If you need reassurance, or if you need some help encouraging your parents to get approved for a higher credit line, you can contact us to walk you through your options.

Remember that it’s never an inappropriate time to plan for the future. It’s also always a good time to ask for legal and financial help. #WereAllInThisTogether and we’re here to support you, virtually now, as well. We can take care of you, and your family, fully online. Call us, we’re here.